My Two Cents About Phobias

It's that time of the week when, thanks to TuTu's Bliss, I get to give my Two Cents about something that is on my mind.....

I am going to deviate from TuTu's topic because I have something that has once again been driving me C-R-A-Z-Y for the past couple of weeks..... So, my two cents on phobias: THEY SUCK!!!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I am a germaphobe.... I do carry hand gel and wipes with me everywhere, but mostly to clean our hands if we are out somewhere without soap & water.... and I am pretty strict about always wiping or cleaning or whatever after the kids have touched anything; But I am not crazy about THAT... I do still let them get dirty and there are times where (gasp...) they do end up eating or doing something without washing first.... I know that everybody has to be exposed to certain amount of germs or we'll never become immune to them.. our bodies will never know how to fight them!!!

BUT, I would like to admit that I am an emetophobic.... anybody know what emetophobia is??? It is the intense, irrational fear of vomiting or anything pertaining to vomiting. I can't remember when it started or what made me realize it.... but I am truly afraid of it...myself or my kids...or anybody in this world for that matter!!!

And it's not the normal "oh I don't like to puke or see puke... it's gross"; it totally consumes me. If there is a stomach bug going around the schools, I am manic... I disinfect the house 2 or 3 times a day, make my hands raw because I'm washing them every minute, and I won't let the kids come to close to me because I'm afraid they are carrying the virus and I don't want to get it.

I can handle most anything--- blood, guts, needles, surgery, cuts etc... but I can NOT handle anything having to do with throwing up.... I can't even be close to somebody that is doing it. My kids know that if they have to throw up, they have to go to the bathroom, close the door and don't ask me to help... because I can't!!!! I truly CAN NOT help them and that is something that hurts me because I want to be there for them... I want to be there to hold their hair and rub their back and make them feel better.... but I CAN NOT... even if I tried!!!

If we are watching a movie or TV show and they show it... that's it-- I'll never watch it again... or have anything to do with that movie or program-- ever again!!

I haven't thrown up myself in over 20 years.... sure I've been sick and had stomach bugs, but I never let it come out.. I will stand there crying, heaving, swallowing whatever... just to keep everything down....

This is something that I HATE about myself... I hate that this fear has this control over me.. I wish I could be a normal person that it does not bother... that I could be the one to help my kids and clean it up... or help my friends if they are sick from too much to drink.

So, my two cents about phobias...and I really would say it's "two cents"... is: THEY S-U-C-K... and I wish they would go away!!!