Happy 60th Birthday in Heaven!!!

WORDFUL WEDNESDAY!!

 

 

I'm not sure how "wordful" or "wordless" this post will be....  Today I feel BLAH..  today is rainy and cloudy and I feel BLAH...  Today is my Mom's birthday and she's not here (physically) to celebrate with and that makes me SAD!!!!!!!  She would've been 60 today... we would've had a BIG PARTY for her...  it would've been GREAT!!!

 

It's crazy that she has been gone SEVEN years...

 

She fought SO HARD and SO LONG against that terrible, horrible, no-good, VERY BAD disease called cancer!!! 

 

It's been SEVEN years and I swear it still hurts as if it were yesterday!!  Sometimes it hurts so much that it hurts (you get it, right?)

 

5 Years and It Does NOT Get Easier.....

In Loving Memory of "Nanny"

June 6, 1952 - January 7, 2005

This day 5 years ago, my mother lost her battle with cancer!! This day 5 years ago, I watched my mom take her final breaths and finally be at peace and out of pain!! This time 5 years ago, I laid my head in my mommy's lap and cried and she started her journey to Heaven..... family and her best friend at her side; praying in her ear as she died!! This time 5 years ago, we were making funeral arrangements...

I feel cheated...I feel she was cheated on life!! She didn't get the chance to grow old and watch her grandchildren graduate, start careers, get married etc... She didn't get the chance to grow old with me!!!

5 years and it doesn't get any easier..... time does NOT heal the wounds; it only makes me learn to live with it!!

-

Mom--

I miss you more than words can describe!! You were the BEST mom in.this.world. You were my best friend, comforter, confidant, advice giver, "on call" medical help, shopping buddy, best cook, favorite sleepover buddy and the best Nanny to my children --You made me who I am today; and I pray that I will be half the woman, mother, co-worker, daughter and friend that you were!!

Love you honey,

Mistletoe

Writer's Workshop - My Mom!!!

When I read MamaKat's writing assignment prompts, it made me kind of sad.... every prompt has something to do with a mom. And even though her prompts were to write about different aspects of our lives and/or our moms; it's still just the thought of HER that makes me sad. She.is.not.here. She was only 52 and she should be here!!!!

Anyway- I chose to write a poem to my mom.....

:)

I can't remember the time I first felt your loving touch

But it was from that moment on, I know you loved me so much

-

I always say, you were more than just my mother,

A confidant, a comforter, a friend like no other

-

You were so strong and fought so hard, it sucked to see you in pain!!

I hate that cancer took you from us and that I will never get to talk to you again!!

-

It was because of YOU, that I am the woman I am today!!

I hope I make you proud; and that's all I have to say!!

I love you and I miss you terribly mom.... it doesn't get any easier not having you here with me!!!

Where Do I Want to be Right Now......?

I am late, I know..... but I still made it..... I couldn't miss another assignment, so I walked uphill both ways in the rain to get my Writer's Workshop assignment done....... Where do I want to be???

It would be really easy for me to say that I would much rather be on the beach somewhere....sitting in a lounge chair, sipping a Corona, running my fingers and toes through the sand, watching my kids build sand castles......yes, I would like that right now..... I am truly a beach girl.......
BUT, where I would really, really, REALLY like to be is sitting in my mom's living room, WITH HER ALIVE, talking to her...telling her about what the kids have been doing, telling her about Julie and how I hate cancer.... telling her my problems and the things that are bothering me and listening to her tell me that everything will be ok!!!!
Yes, I would much rather be visiting with my momma than sitting on the beach relaxing...... my mom could make everything feel better.....and I would give anything to have an evenign with her again........... until we meet again in Heaven, I will just dream......and write to her in my journal!!! :)

Party & Memorial...... Happy & Sad

These next two days are going to bring a range of emotions for me......

For starters, today is my mom's birthday.... and if she were still alive, we would be spending the day together....out shopping and lunch and then I'm sure we would have a dinner for her with all of the family..... Instead, I sit here and just "remember" all of the fun we used to have!!! Happy Birthday, Mommy!!! I miss you and love you dearly!!

Anyway, today we are having Joseph's birthday party..... yes, his birthday was two weeks ago, but because of everyone's schedules, we had to plan the party for today. It will be a fun day of Star Wars, friends and family swimming and bouncing (in the bounce house) and just plain partying!!! We are having a "co-party", meaning the party is for Joseph and his half-brother Aiden (his dad's son with his fiance'), meaning I actually have help with this party..... and actually, she has done most of the work planning and setting up, which has been a nice, welcomed change/help!!! Thanks, Danielle!!

but,

Tomorrow we are having Julie's memorial here at my house..... we will have most of her friends and neighbors over here for a day filled with memories, laughs and tears.... a day to remember a wonderful friend!!

I will tell you all about both of them later....but for now I have to run off and get ready!!!!

INDIANA

I was a bit nervous about taking 2 of my children through the mess that is the airport and then on a plane for 2 1/2 hours....especially because the 2 children that I speak of are my "most challenging"..... a 4-year old, who is....well.... 4 (enough said); and a 6 year old, who is the MOST strong willed child I have ever met---- in.my.life. But they did great.... they behaved so well in the airport and on the plane!!

The weather was beautiful in Indiana.... it never got above 70 degrees....a much needed change from the 95 degrees we are used to!!

We had a really nice time visiting with my Nana.... I feel bad for her because she lost her husband (my Papaw) about 10 years ago; and then she lost my mom.....and she is really lonely!! So, these occasional trips our very good for her....and the kids can always make her smile!!!

Our first stop, before we went to my Nana's house was Gray Bros. Restaurant (has anybody ever eaten there???)... This is a tradition that we have done ever since I was the kid's ages:

After we got to her house, I left everyone and went to buy some flowers & balloons and then "spent some time" with my mom:

The kids spent a lot of time outside in her "cool" (rye) grass (and getting muddy--yuck!!)

:)

And playing at the "cool" park by her house...... they (and me too) got a big kick out of how BIG it was....

:)

And we had a great time "just visiting".......

and goofing off (yes, those teeth are fake)......

I did take the kids to the cemetery on Saturday..... but it makes me SO sad that those are the only real memories that Angie and Joseph will have of my mom!!

And I did convince my Nana to make one of my favorite homemade meals.... ground sirloin patties, cooked in mushroom soup/gravy; mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans and fresh sliced tomatoes.... y-u-m-m-y!!

Our flight back got a little bumpy......no, a LOT bumpy..... so mus so that the pilot told us AND the flight attendants to "Get in your seats NOW and tighten your seat belt as tight as you can" (so....yea, I was completely freaking out--on the inside!!)....

But that didn't phase a sleeping Joseph..... (have I ever told you how deep he sleeps....? and how hard it is for me to wake him in the mornings....?)

I am so glad we decided to take that mini-trip....it was nice to get away, even if for only 2 days.... it was nice to visit my grandma..... and it was nice to spend some quiet time at my mom's grave-site!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!

We got back this afternoon from a weekend trip to Indiana!! Why Indiana you say???

My mom was born there...grew up there...went to college there...met my dad and got married there..... and is buried there!!!

My grandmother still lives there, so we stayed with her for the weekend and had a really, really good visit!!! It was relaxing and had some nice, quality family time with my Nana!!!

I had a very emotional morning as I spent the early part of my Mother's Day at the cemetery....

I will post more pictures of our trip soon; but for today, this is just a "quiet" post.....in memory of my loving mom!!!! Happy Mother's Day, Mom..... You always were amd will always be such a wonderful part of my life.... I am the woman and mother that I am because of you!!!

Writer's Workshop - A Poem to My Mom!!

Mrs. MamaKat, I am back.... I have been a bad, bad student..... but I served my detention and now I'm back for class!!!! (yes, I know...I am a dork...whatever...)

For my Writer's Workshop assignment this week, I chose prompt 4: "write a poem for my mom"..... Mother's Day will never be the same for me...EVER.... I know I have my own children who love on and pamper me on Mother's Day (which I TRULY appreciate); but I still miss MY mom.... I miss buying that perfect card (she was a huge card person...and would spend hours in Hallmark searching for the "right" one), bringing her a little gift and loving on and pampering her..... I.just.miss.her.TERRIBLY. And this time of year only magnifies it 1,000%.

In LOVING MEMORY of my WONDERFUL Mom!!!

Did you ever know that you’re my Hero?
I hope I told you enough for you to know!!

We had the best kind of mother/daughter relationship
And oh, how you loved me so!!

I could tell you all my thoughts & feelings
No matter how wrong or right they were

You could always make it “all better”
And that is one thing I knew for sure

Even though I am a mother now myself
Mother’s Day will never be the way it used to be

Instead of having a fun day together,
I will be visiting you at the cemetery

I miss you Mommy more and more all of the time;
The pain just doesn’t go away!!

I will hold close the memories that we shared;
And in my heart they will forever stay!!

Take Me Back Tuesday: My First Five Years

Since it is my Birthday Week (remember this post), I am going to "Take You Back" to MY early years.... back to when I was a wee little girl..... back to when my mom was still alive and I had no cares in the world... back to when I was still a child myself!!

Hmmmm... not sure I was the cutest newborn around...

2 Months Old.... (what do you think of my dad.... woo-hoo....)

1 Year Old.....

4 Years Old... I tried to be a ballerina; but was really a tomboy at heart....

5 Years Old.... wow, wish I still had a tan like that... (i was a water girl too.... loved the pool)

Thanks for walking with me down memory lane.... I really enjoy these "Take Me Back Tuesdays".... so much fun to go through old pictures and reminisce!!!

Anyway, it's a rainy, stormy, yucky day here today..... I guess it's a good day to be at work, so I don't feel bad about not being able to go outside!! I am trying to decide what I "want" for my birthday.... Joe keeps asking me, but most of the time I prefer to "give" gifts instead of "get" them.... **Note to Joe & Dad: even though I just said that-- I do still want a gift!! hee-hee :)


And, I wanted to send out some Happy Birthday love to a couple fellow Aries, who have also become my friends through this blogging world!!
April - her birthday was yesterday
and
Amy - her birthday is today!!!

Head on over and wish them a HAPPY DAY!!!

Take Me Back Tuesday: Mommy & Me

Once again, I've come across another blog carnival that I'd like to join!!! Kari (A giveaway addicted mommy) hosts Take Me Back Tuesday, where I get to go back in time and share some old memories and pictures to go along with them.


SOOOOO, for my first ever "Take Me Back Tuesday", I'd like to share some memories of my mom!! As most of you know, I lost my mom about 4 years ago.... and as you also know, she was my best friend, my confidant, my "ear", my voice of reason, my hero!!
I love to take every chance I get to talk about her and relive some fond memories I have of her!!!

Of course, this is a memory that I don't remember... oh, I was a wee little 2 week old baby and we were at "my" baby shower. The baby shower was scheduled pretty late in her pregnancy and I came about 3 weeks early; hence my attendance at said shower!!

This is my mom and I when I was about 5 years old. It was Easter and I had just gone egg hunting. I remember how my mom loved to put my hair in pig tails and then braid it. BUT, I also remember that she had to chop-it-off because I got to a point where I would not let her brush it without a major fight (hmmmm.... sounds like a certain 3 year old that I live with)!!!

This is my mom and I at my high school graduation. This may come as a surprise, but I was a bit of a trouble maker while in high school and I'm sure there were times when my mom wasn't sure she would ever see this day!!!

And boy was I happy to make her (and my dad OF COURSE) proud of me!!!

Awwww..... 24 hours from now, I will be sitting on the beach relaxing.... watching my kids make sand castles & jump through the waves...... running my toes through the sand as I sip on my margarita (or some other "adult beverage")..... soaking in the sun as I chat with my best friend!!!

Awwww.... I can't wait.... 4 days of fun in the sun!!!! Don't hate.....