Saturday, August 30, 2008

And So the Season Begins........

Today was the first day of our college football season, which means for the next few months every weekend (or every other depending on home or away games) we will be tailgating and watching football for most of the day on Saturdays.... Actually, this is something we all have a great time doing together; even the kids (although we haven't actually brought Angie yet, so we'll see how "fun" it actually is having to chase around a 3 year old all day at the football stadium). ANYWAY.... would you believe today was a rainy, stormy day.... On one hand, that was nice because it wasn't blazing hot; but on the other hand it didn't make for a good tailgate party. For the first couple of hours, we were in and out of the truck while it poured outside!!!

See the dark clouds behind Joe
Our "improvised" tailgate spot (in Joe's truck)
We made the best of it and eventually it did stop raining so we were able to walk around, enjoy the festivities and have some regular tailgating fun & games. Joe and I went without kids today and we really had alot of fun..."adult time".
Once we got into the game....the rain came back
Who cares about a little bit of rain....right???
After a long, wet, fun's time to go home (until next Saturday)
And even though it was an ugly game (terrible offensive mess), we still started out the season 1-0.....Yippeee--- GO KNIGHTS!!!!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

GO Knights!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is the opening game for the University of Centra Florida Knights football team!!! Think of us tomorrow, beginning about 12pm; we will be out tailgating in the hot humid 90 degree Florida weather....but we love it!!!

In the spirit of UCF football, here are some pictures from last years football season:
"Future" Cheerleader....?
"Futured" Cheerleaders: (yay right....)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

It's Real Life - This is How I Roll

My far, my favorite vehicle I have ever owned: Dodge Durango

My satellite radio

There is MY seat

Inside my center console (Purell wipes, a couple of CD's, Bath & Body Works hand gel & a pen)

Ethan left his lunchbox in the backseat; which means I will be scrambling in the morning because I will have forgotten where it is

"Trunk": My umbrella, Angie's backpack, more Purell wipes (yes, I am a freak about germs), stroller and my roadside emergency kit
View from the back (sometimes I wish I could sit back there and watch a show, while somebody drives me around)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My HERO!!!

"Did I ever tell you you're my're everything I wish I could be....I can fly higher than an eagle....when you are the wind beneath my wings!!!" That always has and always will be my song to my mom. She is my hero!! (Dad, you know I love you too...but it's just the "mom & daughter thing"). My mom was the most kind-hearted, gentle, loving, caring, smart, woman around (and yes, I am biased...hehe). She was a labor & delivery nurse for 20 some years, then took that one step further and became a nurse-midwife, so she would actually do the deliveries herself. She was loved by EVERY single patient she had. I have never seen someone who received more thank-you gifts, cards, letters etc... She delivered my first two sons; but was out of town for the pre-term birth (emergency c-section) of my third son. We did everything together...she was my mom, best friend, confidant, support system, my everything!! And even though my parents were divorced, they (and there new spouses) remained close friends. i was lucky to say that I had the "unusual" divorced family....we celebrated all holidays & birthdays together and they even did things on their own, as a foursome. And she loved her God; she was part of all womens ministries and the choir at her church. She would stand up there every Sunday and move with the music and she sang from her heart!!
Sadly, underneath all this "shine" in her life, she had some rain.... a "genetic flaw" (per the doctor).. she was positive for the ovarian cancer gene, which meant that even though she would fight the cancers as they came, it would never, ever fully go away because that gene would never leave her body. She fought such a brave fight--- for seven years, a new cancer (always ovarian cancer, just in different parts of her body) would come up and she would fight it; chemo, radiation diet etc.. and it would go away. But in August of 2005, we got the news that the newest cancer (a tumor in her abdomen) was not responding to anything, was growing and "there was nothing more they could do". Again, she fought...she fought so hard; she never gave up her will to live. On January 7, 2005, with her family at her bedside, and her pastor praying her through it, she lost that fight! By far, one of the worst days of my life--- very bittersweet to watch my 52 year old mother shrivel down to nothing, barely able to talk, but still worried about ME!!! And then have to let her go, knowing that it was best, knowing that she wouldn't hurt anymore, that she would be whole again and be with Jesus. Yet at the same time knowing that I was losing my mom, that we would never be able to shop again or go out to eat; that I would never be able to call her on the phone again to hear her voice (i still, to this day will occassionally pick up the phone to "tell my mom what happened").
She missed the birth of my daughter (but she was alive long enough to know that she was a girl) by a few months...her only granddaughter; and while she LOVED her boys, she would've loved and doted on a little girl too!!! Her memory lives on in everything I do, every day...and I pray I can be the woman that she was..... My mom, My HERO!!!!

here she is (i need to go through all my pictures to find better pictures, when she wasn't sick).....

Edge of Seventeen

I have a SIRIUS satelite radio and because of the unit that I have I am able to record songs that I like and replay them anytime. I am a big fan of rock music, so I have lots of songs from the "Lithium" channel (90's alternative rock); but I also LOVE to listen to and record from "Totally 80's" because it brings me back to when I was a kid. So, this morning we were listening to my music and the song "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks came on..... "Just like the white winged dove, sings a song -- sounds like she's singing. Woo ooo hoo" remember that song, right?? Anyway, I love it; I was only 7 or 8 years old when it came out and I remember, vividly, riding in my mom's car while that song was playing. I remember sitting in the passenger seat in her Volkswagen Rabbit, with the sun shining through the windows, looking over at her singing the song....... So, as the song was playing this morning, I looked over at CJ, sitting in the passenger seat of my Dodge Durango, with the sun shining through the windows, and I was singing the song. I told CJ about my memory and how it brought a smile to my face because it reminded me SO much of my mom. I know it sounds weird, but it was such a good feeling....looking at my boy, in the same spot I was 26 years ago; and me in the spot my mom was and that just felt right. I hope she was looking down on us, smiling at that too!!

BTW- it's been 2 good days of dropping Joseph off with no tears. This morning I think he had a little bit of a struggle with it; he told himself, as I was leaving, "I don't want to cry, I'm not gonna cry"...and he didn't!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

An Open Letter to "Abuela":

I wonder if you realize how much you mean to all of us....I wonder if you realize how many times your words, your smile, your prayers have helped me through some tough times!!! I wonder if you realize how special you are to me and how I still think of you like my "mom" even though we're not bonded through a marriage anymore. I wonder if you realize how happy and relieved you made my mom when you told her (while she laid in the hospital bed, in her final days) that you would always look after me and make sure I'm okay. I wonder if you realize how much the kids adore you and love to come to your house (it's not just for the rice and beans). I wonder if you realize how your love and kindness touch anyone who knows you!!! And I wonder if you realize what an impact you have made on CJ's life.....
Thank you!!!!!

Like Starting ALL OVER Again......

That's right....because of the crazy week we had with school last week (being off and on because of that storm) we never did get on a good routine/schedule with school; specifically drop off (you know the story). So, all the progress I made with Joseph last Thursday flew out the window this morning. I will say it wasn't the worst, but it still breaks my heart to leave him crying with his head down on the table...geez, I can't even type that without feeling teary!! I know, I know, he is my baby boy who knows how to work his momma; but I can't help it!! Pray for me that tomorrow and the other days ahead get easier for both of us.

So, yesterday we were blessed with another sunny weekend the kids played out in the back yard with the hose and mini pool....

Joseph and Ethan "Fishing" with homemade poles and fish
Angie ready to spray me
Because it was rainy again and we were all feeling kind of silly; and because it just sounded like something fun for us to make and eat.... Saturday night we made "Dogs in a Blanket" ("dogs" because they were beef hot dogs...hehe)
Cj preparing
Mommy starts them out....
We even got Joe involved (he says his were the best...but only because he learned from ME)
In the oven......
We had a lot of fun..... and for the most part, we got through dinner without 50 complaints... :)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

SOOOOOOO, How do you like it????

Yes, I spiced up my blog a bit.....added some color and design to it!! I love it; it makes it more fun to come look at now!!!!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Good Morning SUNSHINE!!!

That's right.....after 4 1/2 LONG days of clouds, wind and lots of rain, we woke up this morning to the bright sunshine!!! WOOOHOOO!!! I was dreading being stuck in the house all day on a Saturday; but now we can go out and enjoy the day.......... First order of business-- get Joseph signed up for Fall T-ball. He enjoyed it so much in the Spring and we are so excited for him to play again this Fall.

Everybody cleaning up the debris from the yard...... (except me; I watched--- hey, I do enough work ALL the time!!)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

No Tears Today

So yesterday when I dropped Joseph off for his second day of school (since there was no school on Tuesday- due to Tropical Storm Fay), it was one of the worst drop off experiences EVER. He cried, he sreamed & cried, clung to the door, and every time I was able to pull away from his grip and leave he took off after me....Now, I know alot of this was just show, but that is not a show I enjoy!!! Anyway, while all this is going on the teacher did nothing!! I'm not asking for her to hold him down or anything, but geez, when she sees him continually chasing me down out the door, couldn't she have offered some help???? I finally made it out of there and cried the whole drive to work!!
Today, I was dreading the unknown and the possibility of having to go through that again.... although I did have a talk with Joseph about that kind of behavior (I let him know that I would always be back at the end of the day and that I wanted him to be a big boy etc...)...oh, and I did bribe him with a Slurpee if he could get through drop-off without incident. It was pouring down rain this morining, as we are still feeling the effects of Tropical Storm Fay-who won't go away (hey, that rhymes...hehe); but Joseph still didn't feel comfortable getting dropped off at the front and having his big brothers take him in. So I carted him and Angie through the rain and got him to his table in the lunchroom. I drew him a picture of the Slurpee, gave him a kiss and YES, I walked out the doors with no problem. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but what a relief to not have to go through my day with the guilt of seeing him like that. I guess that means that I will be making a stop at 7-11 today for Slurpees.

On a different note, when will this rain stop??? I do love a good rain, especially when I'm in bed curled up under my covers (last night Joe and I slept with the window partially opened so we could hear the wind and rain); but, as CJ put it, we haven't seen the sun in 3 days and the sunshine always make me feel happier :)

Monday, August 18, 2008

First Day of School, First Day of School!!!

It's finally here....the boy's first day back to school (Angie started her new class last Wednesday--- I kow that was odd). I can't even believe how big they are now: Cj-7th grade, Ethan-5th grade and Joseph-1st grade..WOW! They were all so excited this morning that I had no problem getting them up and ready:
But, of course my little lady did not want to get up (yes, she is sleeping in a "nest" on the floor:
Off to school we went and I was able to walk them in and see them off..... As soon as we got there CJ and Ethan were gone; Ethan is a patrol so he went to his post and CJ just went to get his schedule and meet up with his friends. But I can always count on Joseph wanting to spend time with mommy; he's not at that age yet when "mom isn't cool anymore". I hung out with him until it was time to go to class and then had my heartbreak for the day when Joseph started crying. And when I finally left, because I knew I had to "just do it", I turned back to look at him and he had his head in his hands just crying. Talk about a pain in my heart.....ouch!!! I know, I know, he is a big boy and he probably stopped crying within 5 minutes. But it doesn't matter; it was still hard to see my baby boy scared and crying!!!! I can't wait for the end of the day to see how everything went.
So, I have to show off Angie's (well..... I "helped") All About Me project that she had to bring to her class. Her teacher wanted a poster of all of her family, friends, likes, hobbies, vacations etc.... and this is what we came up with:

Can't Sleep Again......

Here I am again; 12:45am and I am wide awake....watching Bridezillas (that should put me to sleep, right). I am just excited for the kids to start school, excited to meet their new teachers and watch them them with their old (and new) friends. BUT, we have this craziness with Tropical Storm Fay, which the weather people are totally sensationalizing, and now the first week of school could turn into a mess.... arrrggghhh!

So, we had a pretty good weekend, although most of my plans didn't go as planned. Friday evening was Bio-Tech Consulting's (Joe owns the company) 5th anniversary party. And we had it a really nice venue; rooftop on the 18thnfloor with a beautiful view of downtown Orando. It was agreat time, but due to babysitter issues (for those of you who were there, you know what happened) I had to go home early and missed the "after-party"!! Saturday Joe and I were supposed to take the motorcycle out with his best friend Armando and gis girlfriend; however, it rained (actually, it poured) so we ended up driving out to JB's fish camp and had some awesome seafood. And today (it's still Sunday to me) I finished up last minute school shopping, got some groceries, spent some time with my Dad (which I REALLY enjoy, and wish we did more) annd then picked the boys up!!

Some pics from Friday evening:

Look at how hot my guy is

Me and my girls

The view from the party

My dad and Carol made an appearance...hehe (but didn't get a pic of Carol) I think I am feeling sleepy.....yay!!!! Hope to see you all in dream land soon!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

What do you think?

My grama gave me this picture a couple months ago and I just came across it again. It is of me and my Papou (grandfather) whenI was just 2 or 3 years old. So, do you think Angie looks like me or what??? And, do you think my dad looks like Papou??
PS- not to brag.... but I sure was a cute little girl.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What a dream.......

You know I have been having a rough couple of days emotionally!! I've got things going on personally and at home; and I have been feeling pretty down! I just can't figure it out...I have a beautiful home, a great partner, 4 wonderful children, a loving family, a good job, a nice vehicle, good friends etc.... yet, I still feel like something is missing, like a part of me is gone. When my mom died it broke my heart-- I lost my mom, my best friend, my medical advice giver, my supporter, everything and that took away alot from me and maybe I've still not recovered from that. Maybe I just keep it bottled up deep down inside and have never fully let it out.... Anyway, last night I had a dream with my mom and all I remember is I was at her funeral crying, and as they walked her casket by me I just broke down sobbing. It felt so real, i could feel myself just sobbing (you know the kind of crying where you are shaking as you let it out) and I could feel the pain/heaviness in my heart. Normally when I dream with my mom it is happy--- I dream of us doing stuff together, but she always has to go away......gosh dreams are weird. Maybe I had such a somber dream because I was sad when I went to bed.... I don't know. Anybody have dreams like that???
Sorry this is such a downer today; but sometimes I just need to get that out. i can't always be "super woman"... I do hurt too, just like everybody else!!
Tomorrow is our company's 5th year anniversary party. We are having it on the rooftop lounge of one of our downtown luxury condo buildings.... woohoo!!! I'll let you know how that goes. in the meantime, if anyone has some words of encouragement or a funny joke, I'd love to hear from you...I could use a smile and a laugh!!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

One week left before school starts

I can't believe it; one week from today the boys will be back in school-- CJ in 7th grade, Ethan in 5th and Joseph in 1st...WOW, writing that just made them sound so big!! I think I am about done school shopping. I've had my share of Target, Office Depot and Publix and now we have the fun task of seperating all the supplies into the right kid's, fun!! Angie starts her new pre school class on Wenesday, which I find so strange.
We had a great weekend this past weekend.....lots of family/fun time. Yesterday we went to Gamps's house and swam all afternoon and then had dinner. I can't believe how well they are all swimming now (granted Joseph & Angie use swimmies). I even got in and played water/swim games with them.

Everybody in the pool (except Joe-- even Angie couldn't get him in)

She's like a little fish now......
even mommy does TORPEDO
Up, Up and Away....................
Gosh, I absolutely love spending time together with my family. I remember before my mom got real sick we used to get together at least 2 or 3 times a week for lunch, dinner or just visiting.... I always had that to count on because I loved to be with with her and my kids really developed a close relationship with her (which why I think spending family time together is so important).
I'll let you know how the week goes. I'm kind of winging it with babysitters this week as their summer camp is closed before school starts.

Friday, August 8, 2008


Yes, thank God it's friday.... I am tired this week; probably because I haven't gone to sleep before 1am any night (last night CJ and I were up until 2am) and then have to get up early for work. But, tomorrow we get to sleep in....... I have been blessed with pretty good sleepers, and my little lady is the latest sleeper of all (don't be jealous, but on the weekends she will sleep until 9:30 - 10 am if I let her).
I have felt kind of down the past few days. i feel like my life is a roller coaster of emotions and I just don't get it!! I never used to be like this. I have never felt so "negative" about things. I have always been (like my mom) pretty happy and "glass is half full"; I would make the best of everything. But now, I have so much negativity in and around me.... I feel sad so much lately and have so many thoughts running through my head. "what am i doing with my life?", "Have I made the right decisions...?" "Am I comfortable/happy with where I am at and where I am going?"..... Why can't this heaviness just be gone; why can't things just be easy sometimes..... and why is it that just because I am an adult and a mom I am not "allowed" to be sick, be sad, cry, be overwhelmed, vent, miss my mom...? Why can't I just get some positive feedback sometimes...and not always the bad/wrong this and bad/wrong that...? (ok so I am venting)

On a much lighter note... here are some pictures from last night:

Joe doing "rasberries" on Angie's belly (she loved it)

All of us making silly faces
Can you believe CJ is almost as tall as me now....
Here's Joseph.... who was "too tired to make a silly face"
Ok, so I have to admit..... after going back and looking at these pictures, they did put a smile on my face!!! Happy Friday.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Just Blah today!!!

I'm having one of those days..... It started out blah, then got crappy news at Angie's ENT appointment, and now I'm just in a funk!! I really have alot I want (need) to talk about, but just can't get the words out right now. And on top of it all, I've been having trouble sleeping again.... arrrggghhh!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Help me......please!!!

Ok, so I told you that I was up at the wee hour of 3am (just a short 22 hours ago); and here I am STILL AWAKE!!! The boys are home, tomorrow is back to normal, nothing really to be excited, why can't I sleep!! I've gone through most of my shows on Tivo (i love "Clean House" on the Style channel), finished all the laundry and put some stuff on ebay. PLEASE, PLEASE give me some suggestions on how to get to sleep. Now, I realize that it won't help me tonight, but in case this happens again, I'd really like some ammunition against insomnia!!!
(BTW- am i sounding a bit silly, bad grammar/spelling......lack of sleep).

Monday, August 4, 2008

They're Baaaaaaackkkkk!!!!!

So, I was up at 3:37 this morning.....could not sleep to save my life. I ended up watching Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings & "old faithful", the Lifetime movies.....but still no sleep!!! As I laid there on the couch, the anticipation was just too much, I knew that in just a matter of hours I would have my boys back home!!! At 8:30, I got the three biggest hugs ever. I know they enjoyed their time with their dad; but nothing beats mommy's arms!!!
After a long day of running around, doing errands and such (i just couldn't bring them to camp on their first day back; the thought of Joseph's crocodile tears were too much) we are finally home enjoying the silence.... haha, made you laugh!!!

Back together again (and boy, was Angie excited to see "her guys")
They wasted no time getting back to their things (i know it's & video games; but tonight, it's okay!!!)
Angie recruited Ethan to be Swiper, in her game of Dora the Explorer
Cj is pretty excited about this blog.... He (and I) think this is a cool way to chronicle their day to day lives; ANd can one day look back at all of this with great memories!!!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

One more night of quiet..... hehe

Tomorrow morning the boys come home!!! I am so excited to see them....hear CJ play his clarinet, listen as Ethan plays on his video game and watch Joseph be wild & crazy.

But since Angie did go to sleep early tonight, I think I will go enjoy this night of calm and quiet....