I Sure Have Missed You All!!

Just a quick little note to let you all know that I am still here...obviously with the holiday (and going through the "motions" with Joe's diagnosis) things have just been CRAZY arounnd here.
A quick update for you all:
We went to a new oncologist (Dr. Z)...he was my mom's hematologist oncologist for 15 years and was very close with her; so naturally I trust him tremedously!! Right now we are waiting to find out what type of CML that Joe has (philadelphia chromosone positive or philadelphia negative). Once we know that then he (Dr. Z) will sit down with us and give us the gameplan. Philadelphia positive is the "easier" to treat of the two, but the Philadelphia negative is still treatable. We go back on Tuesday to hopefully get thise results... I say "hopefully" because he tested only by blood; and we are hoping that the blood test will be conclusive so that Joe will not have to do the bone marrow biopsy (which he is ok/ready to do if needed---that is an answer to prayer!!!) This is the most immediate of prayer requests, followed by continued prayers for Joe's thoughts, fears and apprehensions. I am doing my best (giving ALL i can) to keep his spirits up; but naturally he is scared-- scared of the unknown, unanswered questions. Also, please continue o pray for me.... I am giving all I know how to so that I can help boost Joe's spirit; I am trying to keep doing things like "normal" so he doesn't feel out of whack. And while I absolutely DO NOT mind that, it is still taking it's toll on me (mentally). I swear, if I could get into his body and fight this things hands on, I would do it IN A HEARTBEAT!!! I did have a rough time on Friday at the oncologist's office because the last time I was there was with my mom while she got her chemo....and that did bring up alot of memories and make me pretty sad (i had a really good cry on Friday evening); but now that I got that initial visit out of the way, I should be fine!! And actually, even if I wasn't fine I would still go so that I can be there for Joe!!

In spite of all of this (and at the fact the boys were not here), we did still have a nice Christmas and will post pictures in the next day or so... But, I did want to share a few pictures of Angie's Christmas concert. A few of the 3 and 4 year old classes sang at the school's church service and they did such a cute job ( i was going to do ths as my photo story friday, but that was the day we got the initial diagnosis and things have just been a whirlwind/roller coaster since then....Anyway, here are a few pictures of that:

Angie ready to go

Waiting for everyone to take the stage

Singin "Away in the Manger"

"We Wish You a Merry Christmas"

Being silly at lunch afterwards....that's ketchup all over her face :)

I just L-O-V-E this picture

Thanks for being patient with me, you guys!! I promise I will be making my rounds and checking in on all of you... I really have missed reading about all of you.....but right now I am going to TRY to go to sleep--- it's 2:50am...yikes, I do have to work tomorrow!!!

Wordful Wednesday-- Merry Christmas Everyone!!

It's officially Christmas..... granted, it's 12:38 am, but it is Christmas!! I think I am hearing Santa's jingles coming, so I better get to bed so he will stop here; but I wanted to join in with Wordful Wednesday (better late than not, right??) because I have been kind of "absent these past few days (I'm sure you all understand why.....).

My Nana (the kid's great-grandma) sent the kids new robes as part of their Christmas gifts and they all decided they wanted to put them on while they finised opening gifts (remember I celebrated with the boys on Christmas Eve this year).... It's so cute to see them all in their different shapes and sizes; and different colors and designs:

After they opened all the other gifts, I went to the back of the tree and found that one final gift for them ALL (yes, they were surprised....and yes, it's really for the whole family). They all ripped as much paper as they could and under it all was a Wii.... :)

So yea...we spent most of the afternoon playing on that thing....and I can say I am addicted to Guitar Hero.

I hope you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I promise to update you all on Joe; but hot until after the holiday.... we are really trying to give our brains a "break"!!!

I'd Like to Call it a "Good" Day!!

Wow, these past few days have been a total roller coaster!! I have been physically sick since Saturday morning...(not sure if it's from Friday night, the stomach flu or just nerves)...can't really keep anything down, probably lost about 5 pounds!! Joe has had his ups and downs. Understandably, he is very nervous about the unanswered questions.... but today I was able to talk to his oncologist and get a little info to hold us off until tomorrow afternoon. She did confirm that it is CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia) and that we are waiting for the rest of the tests to find out what "type" of CML that it is. But, she also said that he will be able to take a pill and treat it that way..... she even said that with good treatment it could even go away, without being gone (because there is no "cure", but it could go into remission)... And she also said that he does not have to do the bone marrow biopsy yet... she said he could wait until next week (at least)...phheewww, that his a big weight off of his shoulders right now and through Christmas!!
We are still going to another oncologist on Friday; but mostly because he is the oncologist that treated my mom for 19 years and I trust him VERY much!! Aside from him being one of the best in the state, he is also close with our family...he loved my mom and took such good care of her; and I know he'll do the same for Joe!!
Thank you for your awesome words and continued support... WOW, who would've thought that I would find such support in this blogging world....
And THANK YOU for your prayers....please continue to keep Joe and our family on your prayer list!!

He's Only 39.............

I am still in such a state of shock.... I can't believe this is all happening....another cancer in our family. I mean seriously, why??? He is only 39 years old...this should not be happening!!!
It is very difficult to watch the person that you love feeling so down and hurt. And knowing that there is nothing I can do to "fix" it!! He is scared of course and so worried about the bone marrow test. Anyone know what that entails??? He feels like an outcast he says; and feels like everyone is being extra nice to him because they think he's going to die. All I can do is reassure him that these things are not true.

On a lighter note, we did go to our company Christmas party last night...I was very happy that he felt like getting out of the house and was able to keep his mind off of this (at least most of the time). But, of course I had too many adult drinks and I feel terrible today. It is 3:30 and Joe and I just got out of bed (we showered and dressed earlier, but have just been laying around)...part of it is hangover and part of it is just being down and trying to help each other feel better!!

Again, I ask to keep our family in your prayers....the kids do not know about this yet and I don't even know when or how to tell them. Please ask everyone you know to pray for us-- especially Joe!! He is only 39......

WTF??? WTF??? WTF???

Is this some big, funny joke????? Joe went for his annual physical yesterday and he got a call today that some tests were WAY off. His doctor sent him right to the hematologist and after alot more tests and consults, we found out that Joe has some form of Leukemia..... WHAT????? WHY??? I can't do this again, you guys..... Another person I love with cancer????
This came c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y out of left field....gosh, everything was just fine and then BOOM!! He has something called "Chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML)" and I am hoping that we caught it at the early stages. He goes next week to get a bone marrow test to see if he can take some pill...if not, then he will have to get a bone marrow transplant!!
Please pray for us, please pray for Joe's healing first!! But pray for him as he is very scared and apprehensive for all of these upcoming doctors & tests (he usually gets faint at the sight of blood)!! And please pray for me (and his family) as I just don't know how much more I can take!! I have to be strong for him, because I want him to "want" to fight this...I don't want him to lose his "will to fight"....but I am crumbling inside!!!

Dear Santa,

Poor Mrs. MamaKat has been sooo busy trying to get her Christmas gifts all made and ready (and then made again because of a “glitch” -- read here to get the story), but she didn’t leave us hanging and has given some great prompts to pick from this week….

Dear Santa,
I realize that I am a BIG girl now….but you know that I do still believe. Wow, who doesn’t believe in a chubby old fellow with a long white beard and rosy cheeks who loads us up with all the treats we want…? Santa, I think I have been a very good girl this year…well, I’ve made some boo-boos in the “relationship” department (between you and I, we’ve both made some mistakes), but we’ve worked through those and all is good there. And I guess sometimes I’m a little lacking in the parenting department (oh you know that I raise my voice a little too much at times—but geez, with 4 kids I HAVE to run a tight ship here). But for the most part, I am a very good girl… well, okay, you got me again, there are a few times that I went out and drank a few too many “adult” drinks and didn’t feel very good the next morning….
Santa, what I’d really like for Christmas is to feel some peace in my heart….. Ok, you got me AGAIN (how do you keep doing that), I do really want a CHI for my hair and some pretty diamond earrings and some new running sneakers so I can get back into my running (I promised my dad that I would run a 5K with him) and some girly/pampering items and a new laptop…. But above all of that, I want my heart to feel whole again. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with that…. I really miss my mom. I miss the companionship, friendship, support, shopping trips, dinner nights, and UNCONDITIONAL love. Yes, Santa…I am very grateful for my dad. I love him too and really don’t know what I would do without him. But you know how the mother/daughter relationship is…. And I.miss.that. I just want to be my old self again….. in everything. Santa, you know what I mean, I know you do!!
Anyway, I will leave you some really good cookies and a BIG glass of milk (sorry about this—but screw the new thing where parents make there kids leave fruits/veggies and healthy stuff, as to teach their kids “healthy habits”…I mean come on, we all know the real Santa tradition)…and I will even draw you a cute picture like I used to….

Love,
Mistletoe (like my mom used to call me) and Halfpint (like my dad still does call me)

They Like Me...They Really Do Like Me.....

I have some housekeeping to take care of first............ A month or so ago, I was given two awards and have just been soooooo busy that I haven't had a chance to post about them. And, if I'm being honest (which I am), I did forget about them--- but please know that it's not because I didn't appreciate them...it's just that...well, with 4 kids and a full time job and a sick dog and the holidays and....... (you get it) they just slipped my mind.

But now, I would like to give a HUGE thank you to:

April who gave me this:

And said this "...blogs I think deserve this award because I just love reading them. I always make sure to check and see what they have to say everyday. They are funny and truthful and I can relate to all of them.." about my (and a few others) blog!! Thank you April-- I love reading your blog everyday too... it's nice to know that others are going through the same type of craziness (i.e. rearranging the Christmas ornaments).



AVT Coach who gave me this:

And said this: "This woman has a life of joy with her family!" She is so right on with that statement!! Thank you, Thank you...I enjoy reading your blog too, and wanted to give a big CONGRATS to your daughter who just graduated college!!!

Today, Kristin gave me this:

And said this: "I love any blog by a mommy with three boys. Makes me feel less crazy." Yes ma'am....and add one little girl to that mix and I'm on the crazy train right with you!! :) I love her reading her blog too (are you starting to see a trend....? yes, I am a stalker, errr, I mean an avid reader). She has the funniest stories of her adventures with 3 boys, one that just started walking...and if you read this story (yes, he got into the trash and "ate" the coffee grounds) you will be laughing OUT LOUD!!!

I have to name 5 things that I think are FABULOUS:

-My Family, of course.....without them I wouldn't have this blog!!

-My friends...without them I wouldn't have an outlet to vent and "let loose"!!

-My Blog and all my blogging friends.... without them it wouldn't be any fun to come back and do this everyday!!

-My pajamas (he-he)....without them I couln't lay around on Saturday and Sunday mornings and just veg until I'm ready to get moving (come on...you know you all love to do that!!)

-Chic-fil-a.....without it I wouldn't have my large sweet tea with extra ice everyday (and yes, that is exactly how I order it; and yes, they all know me there every time they hear that order)

And I am giving this award to:

April because she is fabulous and I owe her for waiting so long to post about her award to me!!

AVT Coach because she has great stories and again, I owe her for waiting so long!!

Emily because she is someone I really "connect" with...she is so sweet and a good little wifey to her new hubby!!

Carrin because her "story" is alot like mine and I love to read her adventures!!

Heather Marie because she is somenody new I've "met" and really like her "company" :)

And for everybody else that I didn't name, because it is SO hard to just pick 5 fabulous blogs, this one is for you too!! You are all Fabulous......

Wow, this was a fun post.... of course I love to be loved..... BTW- I just made a "funny supper" (which is breakfast for dinner) and had the best banana pancakes...yummy!!

WW - Snug as a Bug in a Rug

I'm still feeling kind of down today...geez, I really hope this goes away....I want to enjoy the holiday season with the kids. You know, maybe that is part of it....maybe, on top of the fact that I am missing my mom, I am also sad that my boys won't be with me for Christmas... :( But, I have to pull myself out of this funk....this is soooo not like me... arrgghhh!!!
Anyway, today is Wordful Wednesday; and even when I'm bummed out, I.can.still.talk. So, the other night I layed down on the couch to watch TV with Joseph and Angie decided to climb up on me to watch TV with us....Somehow, even though it looks really uncomfortable, we were very snug and cozy all cuddled with each other. CJ thought it was cute and took this picture (yes, Joseph was already asleep):

I guess after some time went by. we all ended up asleep and CJ came by again and took our picture:

This picture really makes me smile.... I love the way we are all snuggled up..... I'm sure that I couldn't have been comfortable like that, with Angie right on top of me; but, we were just cuddled up with each other and did what comes naturally---- sleep!!!

I miss my mommy!!!

Thanks DivaMa for giving me the opp to "Tell it Like it Tiz".........

This is kind of a sad, feeling sorry for myself, knowing that my life could be worse, but just mopey post!!! So, if you don't want to hear it, then come back tomorrow!! It has been almost 4 years since I lost my mom (january 7 is the day) and I swear it isn't getting any easier!! There are days (like today) where I wake up and I "need" to talk to her..... you see, she was not only my mom, but my best friend too. We did everything together, talked on the phone at least 3 times a day (every.single.day. until she got too weak and sick to talk so much) and had dinner together at least once a week (that was always my night off--where my mom would "take care" of everything--dinner, kids, baths, dessert etc..). I woke up this morning and I just really needed to hear her voice, I wanted to tell her about Angie singing at church and how when I picked up the boys yesterday that CJ's voice is deeper than ever!! I wanted to plan our Christmas dinner together and egg her on about not being able to guess what I got her for Christmas.... Oh, how I miss her.... why are some days so much harder than others??? My life is so different now without her; it seems like evrything has changed-- family doesn't get together like we used to, holidays are different, birthdays aren't the same.... sometimes I just feel lost without her!! I know I am a grown adult woman, with my own family...I know that we "expect" to lose our parents before us; but sometimes it just feels like it was too early, she was too young to die...I am too young to not have my mom...she should've lived to see her grandchildren graduate high school & college and go to their weddings!!!! She should've lived to deliver more babies and grow in her career (she had such a huge patient base, that loved her like I do...).
I am so disgusted cancer and all these "foundations" that we donate to that should be finding some kind of break through to help people with cancer. But, I'm no dummy-- I know they will never find a cure....too many people would lose money/funding if they could nix cancer (or alzheimers, diabetes, parkinson's etc...you get it)!!!
If you are still here, thanks for listening to my rant.... it feels good to share about my mom... I just miss her so!!!

Photo Story Friday - My Trombone Player

Happy Friday everyone!!! I wonder if you have any fun and exciting things planned for this weekend!?!? My first order of business for tomorrow morning is: stay in my pajamas, in bed or lounging around, for as long as possible!!! Once I finally decide to get up and dressed, then I am going to try to finish my Christmas shopping and do all of my holiday baking; and on Sunday, Angie is singing at the Church service at her school..... I can't wait for that, because this will be the first time she has done any type of school program!! :)

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

So, to get the weekend started, I am going to do my Photo Story on CJ's band concert!! He plays the trombone for the Symphonic band at his school. My boy is very musically inclined...he can play most instruments and most of the time he teaches himself how to play them. He can play most music by ear (on any instrument); and can usually "perfect" it after only a few times!! He writes music and is actually getting very good at that!! Anyway, this past Tuesday was the Winter/Holiday Concert for his school's band and he was so excited (as he always is) to play for all his "fans"!!

Ready to leave for the concert (I still can't believe that he is almost my height!!)

On our way there...do you see how he is twirling/fiddling with his fingers...? He does that when he gets nervous and/or excited

Playing his little heart out...... he keeps going...

and going....

and going....

Standing "O" for my boy.....

Me and my lovies after the concert...

I am so proud of CJ....so proud of his talent and how he has learned (and taught himself) so much in the past couple of years; he is truly talented!! I always tell him that he should stick with it and continue with the band through high school and college.... oh, all the fun he will have in college and traveling with the band!!

Writer's Workshop... Lend Me and Ear

Once again, it’s Thursday and I’m loving the fact that this week flew right by….. But I guess during this time of year, the days do just fly by and before I know it will be Christmas!!! Speaking of Christmas, this is “one of those Christmas’s”; and by that I mean, the boys will be with there dad on Christmas this year…. Boo!!! I.hate.it. It’s not supposed to be this way!! I know, I know, I’m supposed to be “fair”; it’s “according to the divorce docs”…..but WTF was I thinking when I agreed to let my boys go away every other Christmas…?? It’s just not the same waking up on Christmas morning to only Angie at the side of my bed, begging me to wake up and see what Santa brought (because they all know they are NOT allowed to go through Santa’s presents without me there to see the excitement). It’s not the same making our Christmas breakfast with 4 eggs instead of the whole dozen, and 6 pieces of bacon instead of the whole package…. We will be celebrating our (meaning with the boys) Christmas on Christmas Eve this year. We will wake up on Christmas Eve and pretend it’s Christmas morning and I will try to maintain all of our little traditions that we usually do on Christmas morning!! And then after we do our gifts and breakfast and play time, I will take them on “that drive” to their dad’s house and say goodbye for 10 days….oh and yes, I will cry the whole way home!!!
WOW—that felt good to get that off my chest… I’ve been wanting to whine and b*@tch about it for a while now!! Thanks for listening!! And that works out perfect for today’s Writing Assignment at MamaKat’s!! She asks “Who makes the best listener and why?”
My immediate answer would be my mom of course. She was the best listener known to man-- I could tell her anything, anytime!! Unfortunately, since she passed away, I can only talk to her "spirit"; and while I do "do" that, it's just not the same!! The next answer would be that all of you are my best listeners, and let me tell you why!! I can come here and talk to you at anytime of the day, whether it be early in the morning or after a late, late night. I can tell you anything...whatever is on my chest. I can vent and complain when I'm angry; I can smile and laugh and tell you the funny stories; I can gloat and brag and tell you how proud I am of my family; I can cry when I'm sad or hurting; I can unload my burdens by just writing it out.....most of all, I can come here and just-be-me!!! And the best thing is, I can do all of this without interuption!! :) You listen but you don't talk back. You let me spill my guts at 100 miles/minute and don't cut in and make me stop for a break. And then, when you know I need it, you offer your words---words of support or laughter or encouragement!!

Wordful Wednesday -- It's a Tradition!!

It's Wednesday....the middle of the week....once we get past noon we will be closer to the weekend than Monday!! Why is it that we long for the weekends?? Is it true--- "Everybody's working for the weekend"..? (come on you know you just started singing that song) Wednesday also means "Wordful Wednesday" at Seven Clown Circus. I always have so much fun with this because I.love.to.talk. Not much else to say about that!!

This is one of our long standing traditions. My dad always makes the mashed potatoes...no matter what holiday, no matter who's house we are at. Actually, my grandfather and my dad used to do it together, and then it became my dad and my "thing" and now it's my dad and Cj's. Don't mess with my dad (he's "Gamps" to the kids) when it comes to the mashed potatoes... he takes great pride in them....and eats it up (literally) when all of us ooh and ahh over how scrumptous they taste!! See below how he is pouring in the warmed buttermilk at just the right intervals (he's an aeronautical engineer--a mathematician; so yes, he does calculate the right intervals). And let me just tell you...I know they are only mashed potatoes--but dad makes a mean batch of warm, buttery, salty (but not too much), milky, soft mashed poatoes!!!

And CJ is so proud of the fact that Gamps has let him join in with the tradition; he is so proud that Gamps actually lets him mix/beat the potatoes.....actually, what CJ doesn't realize is that Gamps probably couldn't wait for CJ to want to join in!!

I love traditions... I love to get excited about them and I love to see my kids getting excited about them... Do you all have any fun traditions that always stick out?? How many of you watch "A Christmas Story" for 24hrs straight every year??

100 things on my 100th post

Wow...this is my 100th post... I can't believe I actually stuck with it!! Of course, I totally accredit that to all of my blogging friends....who make it soooo fun to come here everyday!!! :)
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to tell you all 100 random thoughts/facts about me......but, the real sad thing is...... I couldn't think of that many. Either I am really boring (which of course, I know I'm not...he-he!!) or just don't want to bore you all. Just use your imagination for the rest of them!!!

1. I love my family – they are everything to me!!
2. I miss my mom---terribly… sometimes I feel completely lost without her
3. I drive a big Dodge Durango
4. I need a bigger house, with more bathrooms
5. I love to shop at Target
6. I only wear American Eagle jeans
7. I love Chic Fil a; especially their sweet tea
8. I have had plastic surgery somewhere on my body (100 points for anyone who can guess??)
9. My mom is buried in Indiana which is very difficult for me.
10. I am a HUGE Indianapolis Colts fan
11. I love BBQ
12. I love Bubbalou’s BBQ
13. Every.single.house on my street hangs Christmas lights…and on Christmas Eve we all put out luminaries
14. Joe also drives a big Dodge Durango
15. My ex-husband (the boy’s dad) also drives a big Dodge Durango
16. On any given night, I hear the word “mommy” at least 500 times (ok, maybe that’s a stretch—but close)
17. I like to watch Nancy Grace…even though I think she is too abrasive
18. I listen to all kinds of music, but my favorite is rock—classic, alternative…even heavy
19. I go see KORN every time they come to town
20. I love to go out and “whoop it up” sometimes…. With Joe and/or my girlfriends
21. When I do go out, I usually end up drinking too many beers and/or Captain & cokes.
22. None of my children were born past 36 weeks... Cj-36, Ethan-35, Joseph-34 and Angie-34
23. My first 2 children were born vaginally and my youngest 2 were born by c-section.
24. My youngest son (3rd child) was an emergency at 34 weeks... he weighed 4 lbs, had a collapsed lung, was intubated and in NICU for 14 days
25. Angie was my "biggest" baby at 5lbs, 14 oz.
26. My mom died when I was 18 weeks pregnant...but I was able to tell her that "it" was a girl and that "it's" middle name would be my mom's first name
27. I met Joe at work...and always had a crush on him
28. Our first "date" (although it wasn't a real date-- just friends) was wings & beer at the ale house
29. That night I remember thinking why wouldn't he try to hit on me.....
30. I am a rock climber
31. My dad and I used to take trips to the mountains in NC and rock climb up there
32. Since I've had kids, I have to settle for a rock climbing gym
33. In school, I was a springboard diver
34. I am a talker.... try me- I can talk your ear off!!
35. I am a defensive person by nature
36 -100. I am too cool for anymore words... ha-ha!!

BTW- I did finally get the kids to take a good picture and I got our Christmas cards made and mailed out!! Yay...one more thing off my list!! Here it is.... from my family to yours

Ok, I'm in love with a vampire..... so what???

Do you hear that sound???? Yes, it's the sound of me being sucked into the phenomen that is the Twilight series. I had been putting off getting involved because...well, I just don't have the time. But, this afternoon I finally made good on my promise to take CJ to see Twilight. Yes, I saw the movie before I read the book..... and actually I'm glad that I did. I went into it with no expectations, therefore NO disappointment!!! So, I loved the movie and I.love.edward. Isn't there just something very appealing about a handsome, strong, protective, sexy "man"??? Even if he is a vampire???
Anyway, I am now completely sucked in and have to read all the books. I tried to convince myself (and CJ) that I don't need to read Twilight....because I just saw the movie and I get the storyline...I get how they fall in love. But CJ is adamant about me reading and getting all the missing parts...so, I guess I will start at the beginning.
I promise I won't leave you all during my affair with these books........so, don't tell Joe, but I am in love with a vampire!!!

PSF - How Hard Can it Be...seriously??

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I really do love this time of year.... I love looking at all the decorations around town and all the lights on the houses. I love the Christmas music and Christmas movies.... I even love the hussle and bussle of trying to get everything done (even though it does stress me out). The one thing I don't "love" is trying to get a good Christmas picture..... Seriously, how hard can it really be for all four of my children to look at me all at once with a nice smile?? ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

Angie's not looking and is puckering

Bad glare in Cj's glasses and again, Angie is not looking

Finally got Angie to look AND smile, but got a bad glare in Cj's glasses

After having such fun decorating the tree and taking some candid shots, I guess they just didn't feel like giving mommy the prize-winning shot......... Oh, but they will......... we will just try it again, t-o-n-i-g-h-t!!!

I am finally taking CJ (well, all the boys....Angie will stay home with daddy) to see "Twilight" this weekend. He has been begging me, but it has just been real busy around the house!! We've finally got a little time off and I am actually pretty excited to see it myself... hmmmmm, maybe this could be bargaining tool for a good Christmas picture, huh??

Writer's Workshop -- TAG, I'm it!!!

It’s that time of the week....….. Good Morning Mrs. MamaKat…..yes, I did miss doing my Writer’s Workshop last week because of Thanksgiving…. And yes, I am ready for the challenge today!!! Like always, she has some good choices for writing prompts….I’d like to take the easy way out and discuss the chaos that my dog has caused this week if you've been reading this past week, then you already know); but, I think I’m going to take the really easy way out (because of all of that chaos and stress from that dog) and accept her TAG!!

This is the 6th picture in my 6th folder on my computer…. I wonder if anyone knows who this is……………………….? Simon LeBon, from Duran Duran. A few months ago, I went to see them in concert with a few friends and boy did we have a blast…. Come on, you know you love some “Reflex”.

This next picture is the 6th picture in the 6th folder on my Photo Bucket account….My CJ, my big boy!! For real, look at him, almost 13—t-h-i-r-t-e-e-n. He is almost as tall as me, his face is starting to look “man-like” and the voice…well, yes, it is cracking and deepening!! He wanted me to take this picture after he had just gotten his hair buzzed. And of course, we had to take the picture without his glasses on. He really, really wants to try out contacts, as he is at that age where he doesn’t think his glasses are “cool” (in my eyes he is ALWAYS cool). It's funny because everytime I look at him now, I am amazed at how "grown-up" he looks and acts (except of course that he is still a super picky eater).

Wordful Wednesday - Spaghetti Face

Ok, so I made it to 6:00am this morning.... I was quite excited when I opened up my eyes and realized I had slept past 4:45am.... oh, it's just the little things that amuse me....seriously!!!
So, I was going through some old pictures and found one that I decided to use for Wordful Wednesday at Seven Clown Circus.

This is my little Joseph about 4 years ago..... he had just got done eating a plate full of spaghetti that ended up more on his face (and hair) than in his mouth. I remember this day....I remember this "time in my life". This picture was taken at the home the boys and I moved into after my divorce. I don't know that I could call it "home", because I never really felt comfortable there; it was a transition time I guess and the only thing good about that house was that it was right by mom's house. Anyway, back to the picture.....just look at those cheeks....and those big eyes. Even with spaghetti all over, he melts my heart!!!

Fast forward 4 - 4 1/2 years and here's my big boy (well, he's not very "big"....as a matter of fact he has always been very small for his age) again with spaghetti on his face....and still melting my heart (even when he has me wanting to pull my hair out):

Happy Wordful Wednesday!!!!

How can I manage all of this....???

First of all.....what is up with me waking up every morning now at 4:45 am....? I swear this was the 3rd morning in a row that my eyes popped open right at that time and I could not go back to sleep!!! I guess my body feels rested enough....and actually it's kind of nice to have those couple of hours all.to.myself.
I finally got to bring my dog home yesterday evening..... you wouldn't believe how much money I had to pay for him and how much medicine he now has to take!!!! I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed..... It's Christmas time, so I have shopping, decorating, baking, etc.... plus work and kids still. Oh and then there's the Christmas cards, so I need to pick out cute outfits, get the kid's pictures taken and get my cards made and mailed out..... and now I have to try to get my pup to take 10 pills every morning and evening and make sure he is eating and drinking so he won't get dehydrated and so he can have a bowel movement (right now he has some major blockage in his colon)...and, right now he is still irritable from being in the hospital so I have to be careful with the kids and our other dog around him.
I know that there are many other things that could be wrong right now....and I am truly grateful for everything....but once again, I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.......and since this is MY blog, I am going to vent!!!
Do you really believe that God only gives us what we can handle??? Because I'm starting to wonder why/how He thinks I can handle all of this stuff....

The Long Holiday Weekend is OVER....boo!!!

Boo-Hoo....I really enjoyed this looonnnggg weekend...well, all except the fact that my dog got so sick and is still in the doggy hospital. I got alot done yet at the same time did alot of nothing. Very, very relaxing...actually so much so, that I actually felt guilty yesterday evening about the fact that I hadn't taken Angie out much (we are usually on the go-go-go all weekend). The one great thing about the weekend being over is that my boys are back home.... they spent the long weekend with their dad and I picked them up this morning...yay!!! You know the funny thing about that is that when they first go there, I get to relax and am like ahhhhhh; but within a few hours I'm bored to pieces and miss the loudness and craziness that is my life!!
Anyway, since this is Monday....I guess I need to let you know all the things I "did not" do this past weekend. And after you read all my funnies...head over to Mckmama's and read everyone else's guilty secrets....

I did not buy a pre-cooked smoked turkey this year for Thanksgiving...I must certainly did not think it would just be too much hassle with everything else going on, to buy and cook for hours a raw turkey.
I did not have Joe put that said turkey in the oven in just enough time for it to smell up the house like it had been cooking all morning.
I did not keep drinking the Molson beers just because I kept wanting to see what the "which would you prefer's......." where on the back of the labels. If I did do that, I would've seen some funny ones...like "would you prefer to be a werewolf or vampire? or "would you prefer to have a time machine or money-making machine?"
I did not go out and brave the crowds on "Black Friday"...and I certainly did not L-O-V-E every.minute.of.it
And when I got home form shopping, I did not find my dog sick---very sick
While carrying that sick, 55lb dog to the car (because he could not walk), I did not fall down on my butt (with him on top of me) when trying to prop him up and open the truck door.
I did not have to bring my 3 year old with me to the ER vet....but if I did, I'm sure she would've been a little angel because she would've known how worried and scared I was...
We did not leave the UCF football game early on Saturday because the game was SO pathetic...geez, they better get some talent on that team or known of us will want to renew our season tickets!!
Joe and I did not spend 4 or 5 hours hooked on "Lock-Up, Raw" on MSNBC....and I was not fascinated with how much that would suck to be 1) an inmate in any jail...but especially a jail in a rough city/jail...i.e: San Quentin (i know--they did it to themselves) and 2) a correction officer having to deal with the inmates....
I did not wake up yesterday and this morning at 4:45am...both mornings...for NO reason at all!!!

My pup

Good news is, I am feeling much better....the past couple of days with nice relaxation, good family time and no work have been very therapeutic!! :) I even got out this morning and did my annual Black Friday shopping...oh, how I love the fun & excitement of this shopping day.....call me crazy--- maybe I am!! :)
BAD news- I came home this evening to one of my dogs (Eddie), very lethargic, breathing very fast/labored, awake--but non responsive, wouldn't get up, couldn't get him to eat anything....and it s-c-a-r-e-d me!! So, I took him to the ER vet (yes, I had to carry that 55lb dog) and after a bunch of tests and alot of money, we find out that he has pancreatitis. I dont know what has caused it, but he is staying there overnight being treated with IV fluids, antibiotics and pain meds and then will be transported to his regular vet in the morning; and then we will know a better prognosis!! Gosh, I hate this crap...it's so hard with an animal because they can't speak...but I could tell by his eyes that he was not well.

:( That sums it up........

This is normally my day to "Tell it Like it Tiz", thanks to Diva Ma..... But, today I am really at a loss of words. I am going through some really crappy things right now!! I wish I could tell you everything, I wish I could just spill my guts and get it all off my chest, because I am hurting so bad right now!! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers... I am sure that soon enough, I will be able to confide in all of my bloggy friends, as I will surely need the friendship and support!!
Until then, I wll try to come here everyday, with my chin up and try to make you all smile!!

Not Me, I did NOT do that on Ethan's Birthday!!

It's Monday....but that's ok, because this is a short work week...and who doesn't love a short work week :)!! Oh and of course, Monday means "Not Me Monday" at MckMama's!! This week, I'm going to tell you about all of the things I did not do at Ethan's birthday celebration!!



I did not make everyone (hostess, waitress, manager, other patrons etc..) at Red "Lobster" refer to it as Red "Chicken" because Angie does not like Red "Lobster"



I did not stop the "fun" from beginning until I got a good picture of all of us together... And that picture was not taken by the waitress who had other tables to tend to, and it was not taken a few times until I got just the right one (if it was, I probably would've gotten frustrated because i couldn't get all the kids to look in the right direction at the right time)



I did not make Angie sing her cute little songs over and over again to anyone and everyone who came to the table making a stink about how cute she was!! (if I did do that, she would've eaten up every bit of it)

I did not have to take...uhhh....drag Joseph to the bathroom and give him a pinch on his rear because he simulated a head-butt at me while I was scolding him. If I would've done that it would've been because after I first tried to spank him, he looked at me and laughed because he had thick jeans on.

I did not pretend like I didn't see him try to play the sympathy card for the rest of dinner, giving me the puppy dog eyes and saying that he could barely walk because he was in so much pain (honestly you guys, I barely "did not" pinch him....)

I did not enjoy the movie "BOLT" just as much (if not more) as the kids...and I did not get teary-eyed at some of the "sad/lonely dog" scenes in the movie.

I did not let Ethan stay up until 1:30am trying to put together his new Lego toy....

I did not get frustrated trying to put together the new art easel that Ethan got from Gamps & Grama. I did not think to myself, why would they design this so difficult to piece together--it's an easel, for goodness sake!!!

There you have it....all of the things I did not do during Ethan's night out!! Actually you all, we really did have a good time... Ethan ate the dinner he wanted, saw the movie he was sooo excited to see and got all the gifts that he wanted; and it makes me happy to see him happy!!

Photo Story Friday - My Ethan!!!

On the last two posts I've talked about Ethan's birth story and his bout with colic....and today, I will just talk about HIM!! And since today is Photo Story Friday, I will share some photos of him as well!!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

On this day, eleven years ago....well, actually it was at 9:49pm on this day, (but who's counting right??) my sweet Ethan was born. Wow-- I can't believe it has been eleven years; where does time go??
Anyway, Ethan was a very good baby. Once we got past the colic, he was like a dream baby/toddler... he ate good, slept great and played so well with his brother. He was (and still is) very independent... I could sit him down with some toys and he would play for hours, all by himself; keeping himself entertained with his imagination. He had an imaginary friend named Amy. And whenever I told him no or he didn't get what he wanted, he would say- "But, Amy says it's ok".
When he was 2, he had a TV on his dresser; one evening we heard a loud crash and thunk so I ran into his room....my heart beating right up into my throat. He had opened the drawers and was trying to climb up the dresser and he pulled the whole thing down on top of him....You all, the TV was about 6" from his head...yikes!! So, we took him to the ER to make sure that he didn't have any internal damage from the dresser falling on top of him...which he didn't...but would you believe that while we were at the ER he was trying to climb the bookshelf in the waiting room. From that moment on, I always thought...no, I knew he would be the one to get broken bones (which by the way he did when he fell off the monkey bars last year).
He is a very sweet boy and is the people pleaser of my bunch.... he gets very upset and disappointed if he makes a mistake or feels like he's let me down. He is very obedient and loyal... I really don't think I will have to worry about peer pressure with him. I mean he follows every instruction to the T and will not budge if he doesn't want to do something or knows he's not supposed to. He is very timid, shy and soft-spoken. Actually, most of the time when talking to him, I have to ask him to "speak louder and repeat yourself, please". Funny thing is that even though is he is so shy, he still makes friends anywhere he goes..... Like I said, he is a people-pleaser. Most of the time he does things to make others happy and to help others out. The only "flaw" (and how can I even say "flaw" when it comes to one of MY children??) is that he is very indecisive, which I believe comes from being a people pleaser. He is so concerned with making others satisfied, that he will often times, put them first...which I have been trying to help him get past. When I ask him something like "What do you want from....?" or "What movie do you want to see?" he will respond with "What do you want me to do?? So, I end up having the talk with him about learning to make decisions for HIMSELF too.
He is very, very smart.... is in all gifted classes and reads/learns at a much higher grade level. He scores off the charts (in a good way) on his FCAT tests and sometimes gets bored with what they're teaching him in school. Oh, but my sweet, smart, obedient Ethan is NOT very organized...his backpack, his desk at school, his bedroom...everything is pretty cluttered. And his dis-organization causes him to lose and forget things, which doesn't go over well with the teachers when his homework doesn't get turned in.
He has Tourette's Syndrome...luckily it is not real bad, but he does have his twitches and sounds that come out, especially if he is nervous, stressed, worried or too excited about something. But we have always been very honest about it and talk about it like it's a normal thing. As a matter of fact we call them "his noises". I've never wanted him to feel like it is a bad, tabu, thing.... I've never tried to hide the "diagnosis". I believe that if he feels that it is ok and doesn't feel like he has to hide it, then it is less stress on him.
He has blessed my life in so many ways and I look forward to watching him continue to grow into a young man!! I love you, son....Happy Birthday!!

Please Make Him Stop Crying!!!

I woke up this morning feeling y-u-c-k-y... Achy, chills, queasy!!! What is up with that.... I can't be sick!! Oh well, as long as I'm well enough for my Writer’s Workshop assignment!! Don’t worry, MamaKat…the dog did not eat my homework!!
In our house, whenever somebody has a birthday, we start celebrating a week ahead of time…. We call it “--------‘s birthday week” and they get the special treatment all week. I love to do it for everybody else because…….well, because I want it done for me!! He-he.... So, in keeping with that theme, I will do my post today (my writing assignment) about Ethan again.
I remember when Ethan had colic…. Yikes!! Yes, I was ‘blessed’ with a newborn baby with colic. And for those of you who have also been “blessed” with a colicky baby, you will know where this story is going. It started when he was six weeks old....and I remember thinking why is he still crying; I've fed him, changed him, I'm holding him...arrggghhhh!!! This went on every day, although luckily it wasn't all day long (as I have heard of colicky babies that cry all day). It was the same times every day, always around lunchtime and always around 6:30pm. It was crazy-- he would cry so loud and so long and his little body would stiffen up and straigten out and I just didn't know what to do..... actually I usually ended up crying too; out of frustration & helplessness. This may sound awful, but there were a few times where I would just lay him in his crib, walk out and close the door just so I could gather myself (no, i didn't leave him in there long---just enough to breathe a minute). I tried everything-- different routines, changed his formula, Star of Anais tea, swaddling & shhhing (remember the 5 S's)....you name it, I tried it. But then somebody mentioned to me about Chamomile tea with a tiny bit of sugar in it. Why hadn't I thought of that yet?? After all that time, it just stopped...I don't know if it was from the chamomile tea or if he just grew out it, but it was a dream come true!! I stuck with that tea...every night after dinner he got a bottle of Chamomile tea and it always relaxed him. Oh, I remember that... remember it like it was yesterday!!

Wordful Wednesday - Eleven Years Ago

It’s Wordful Wednesday over at Seven Clown Circus……Like I’ve said before and like most of you know already, I.am.wordful. So, thanks Angie for giving me a good excuse for gabbing!! In honor of Ethan’s birthday (this Friday), I am going to be wordy about his birth story.

This is me 11 years ago (actually I was about 18 weeks along—but you get the idea)


Wow, I can’t believe it has been that long….. Eleven years ago, my ex-husband and I had just recently bought our first home and had a toddler that we were chasing around. Eleven years ago I was sitting at my desk and got up to go to lunch. As I stood up my water broke…which was kind of scary because I was only 35 weeks and I knew he was probably still pretty small. I checked into the hospital and we waited to see if I would go into labor on my own. After a few hours they started pitocin and the fun began!! With CJ, I got an epidural right away, as soon as I started hurting I had them hook me up...but this time...well, this time I thought I'd tough it out and do natural. hmmmm, why did I want to do that?? Anyway, I have been blessed with very fast labors, so after about 2 1/2 hours, I was 7-8cm, but I could NOT take the pain anymore!! No way-- I wanted the epidural and wanted it right then. Luckily for me, my mom was an L&D nurse (and nurse manager) there for 20 years and was getting her midwifery degree at the time, so she knew everyone there really well...... so, she was able to get the anesthesiologist fast and give me some relief. Although being that far into labor and in that much pain, the epidural just took the edge off. Within 10 minutes of getting it, I was ready to push. I know what you're thinking---why didn't I just wait it out...I could've made it 10 more minutes, right...? Well, let me tell you this little fact about me: I don't have a high threshold for pain. And I feel like if the medicine is there to fix that pain, then why not use it (and I am NOT knocking anyone who does it med-free; more power to you, that's awesome!! But, not for me!!). Ok, so after 2 0r 3 pushes, my little braniac was born... 5 lbs 2 oz, 19". I had some very personal things going on in my life at the time (that's for another post), so this was a very emotional experience-- happy, sad, mad, hurt.... on a day that should have been ALL happy!! Oh well, I got my beautiful little boy out of it, and he has been a blessing ever since!!

Gosh, when I look at these newborn pictures of him, it really brings me back!! I love, love, love it when they're this little; I love how good it feels to hold a baby that small and listen to all their noises. And NO- I do not want anymore children (actually, I can't..but that's besides the point)... I am perfectly fine just looking at old pictures and reminiscing, or holding sombody else's baby that I can give back!! :)

Joseph developed a bit of jaundice; more than the doctor was comfortable with, but not enough to have to bring him back to the hospital. So, we had the home care people come out and bring us the "Suitcase". He had to lay under the lights all the time....he had to be in there with only his diaper and with his head behind the curtain to shade them from the light. Fortunately, this only lasted a couple of days and he has been great ever since!!

Stay tuned for Friday (his actual birthday--which he just pointed out), where my "Photo Story Friday" will be about watching him grow and all the fun experiences we've had.