Thursday, May 14, 2009

Tomorrow I will........

I am feeling kind of down today...... no, actually ALOT down.... Last night I reached my breaking point with my children and it put me right over the edge.... I am dealing with 4 children, all at different ages and stages....all with different challenges.

There is CJ is about to be a teenager...with a teenager attitude; Ethan who is very introverted and doesn't really socialize, but gets upset with me for not spending enough time with him (which I constantly try to do), Joseph who is THE.MOST strong-willed child you have ever met---e-v-e-r....a constant battle with him, and Angie who is 4..... and is 4!!

And then there is the constant battle with "taking sides" and "picking favorites"....which I do not do...as a matter of fact, I try real hard to stay out of their fights, so that no one will think I am picking sides.

Oh and then there is the constant battle at dinner time...always somebody doesn't like something and we have to hear about the whole meal time.... we can't just have normal dinner conversations....

SOOOOOO..... I have decided, TOMORROW I WILL stop being so hard on myself......and will try really hard to just let things go!!

I will not let Joseph get under my skin and make me have to yell..... I will just let it go (and walk.away.) when he complains about something not going his way!!!

I will not let my feelings get so hurt when CJ tells me that I act like I am always upset with them...or when he gives me the cold/silent treatment because he is not getting his Clarinet Reeds until tomorrow...... I will let it go and remember that he is about to be a teenager and he.will.have.attitude.

I will learn to just relax..... and remember that they are.just.kids. And I will continue to raise them in the rigth direction, with a "firm hand", but will not be brought to tears every night because I am so frustrated about something that one of them has done!!!
I will not feel sorry for myself because I am practically doing this all.on.my.own..... as the boy's dad (my ex) works so much that he doesn't have a big part in their rearing!!! I will JUST BE!!!


Awww..... thanks MamaKat... I needed that assignment this week.... Gosh, who ever thought homework could be therapeutic????

18 comments:

April said...

Sounds like a good plan to me! Good luck!
To answer your question, way less calories and TONS of water!

Carrin said...

I think we, as mothers, all go through this stage many many times! All we can do is all we can do. Hang in there eventually they grow up and we will miss these times, right?

monica said...

Great writing. That is a great plan! I hope it works - Good luck today!

Stopping by from MamaKat's.

Brandy said...

Remind me to that tomorrow ...
I am so there my kids seem to be getting more rotten by the day I keep telling myself "the daddy will be home soon and then its my turn for a deployment" lol.

Isabel Princes said...

I completley relate to you on this. My kids drive me crazy, I overreact, and then I feel guilty so I over compensate on something else. I thought I was the only one!

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I always think I am the only one with these struggles...glad to read someone has them too.

Let it go....that's all we can do :)

Trudy said...

Hi, stopping by from Mama Kat's today. I hope today is a better day for you and you don't have to cry tonight. It sounds like you're a great mom and just need to cut yourself some slack!

Good luck...hope things work out!

Bee and Rose said...

Hang in there, Melissa! It's good to vent!

My kids are arguing as we speak! lol! I am just ignoring them because I have had enough too!

Studying to be a Mommy said...

Wow, I CANNOT imagine raising 4 kids by myself. You are super woman.

Erica said...

I think we all go through days like that where our life seems to just hit us in the face and we get overwhelmed. I know exactly how you feel I have 4 also 11,6,4,2 and it seems like they are always going in different directions, fighting,having attitudes and I always get the be the bad guy for wanting order and trying to raise them to be wonderful adults. you can't be hard on yourself you do the best you can do, take it day by day, and realize that if you do everything in the spirit of love and understanding that you know what is best for them maybe not today but one day they will thank you for it (that is what i tell myself anyway) Hope tomorrow is a better day :)

Nori D said...

Youre, not alone, thats for sure. And you're right, its always best to just away, and to be easier on yourself. This is a tough job, but Im sure you're doing a great job.

Kate said...

Strong willed Joseph needs to meet super strong willed, middle child, her way or the highway, make me wanna SCREAM.... Hannah. I'll trade ya!

Megs said...

i'm impressed - i shied away from this prompt . . . i think i just wanted to wallow a little while longer in the things that are dragging on me. Way to stand up to it all. *high fives*

Thanks for dropping by and commenting yesterday! Hope you'll continue to check in! :)

pan x 8 said...

Melissa, how about you just said "out loud" what I go through everyday! I love your perspective and as I fail to do everyday - take it easy on yourself, you are doing your best, right? right!

Thanks popping over to my blog! I love new friends!

shortmama said...

Hang in there! I think we are born as women to be hard on ourselves and feel like we are doing everything wrong, especially when our kids tell us we are!

Mama Kat said...

How many of us can relate to that!?! I think it's good to try to relax and just roll with it. I find myself getting so angry at things that are just beyond my control. The kids are going ot react how they're going to react and the best thing we can do is not OVERreact to them! Thanks for the reminder!!

Mommy Fabulous said...

You're a mom and we all go through these emotions at times. I just had one last Thursday and it was probably the first time I got so frustrated that I almost cried.

I'm not sure how to handle these times except to take a breath and walk away.

You're a great mom. It's hard sometimes, but it does get better.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I feel your pain, I really do.