I am so freaking tired of people close to me being affected by cancer!!! I am so tired of watching people close to me fight and fight and fight and then lose their battle with that awful disease!!! I.HATE.CANCER....... PERIOD.
Early this morning I lost my very close friend, Julie, to cancer. She battled cancer for many, many years....and actually she defied alot of doctor's odds; and lived alot longer than any doctor ever thought she would!!
But that doesn't make this any easier!!!
She was tired.... she was hurting and her body was tired..... We were able to say everything we needed to say to each other (she told me she loved me every night that we talked on the phone)....nothing left unsaid. She knew how much I loved her; and I know how much she loved me!!
But selfishly, that doesn't make it easier!!!
Julie was the sweetest friend anyone could ask for. She had a very rough family upbringing/life (her parents were not good to her), so I think that made her a better friend, as all she longed for was to be loved and cared for!! Her and I spent every Wednesday and Friday together (my days off)... we would get our nails or hair done together, shop, go to lunch or just hang out and laugh.... geez, those days off will be so lonely now!!
Anyway, the past 2 weeks she had Hospice "Crisis Care" (not End of Life care) at her home to help stabilize her blood pressure.... one of the cancers she had was in the adrenal glands so that majorly affected her BP.... and over the past week I started hearing and seeing her get weaker and more "out of it".
While I was in Key West, I still called her everyday to check on her; and during one of our phone calls she said "I hope I can wait for you"..... I certainly didn't think then that I would have lost her now.
She did wait for me.... I got to see her briefly Wednesday morning.... we had a nice visit...talked and laughed and then she got sleepy...so I went home to let her rest. That evening I called her, but she was very incoherent... I could barely understand her. Thursday morning when I called, her husband said she was unresponsive and could not be woken..... what.... what do you mean.... No, it's not time yet!!!
After 2 days of "actively dying"..... where we all kept vigil over her as she struggled to breath..... she lost her battle early this morning.... she is now in Heaven...no longer suffering...no longer in pain....no longer hurting!!!
I love you and miss you, Honey.....
Julie and her husband, Tom
Julie and Angie
Me and Julie
All of us, at my B-day Party (she was so happy to be included in my family stuff....and I was so happy to have her there!!)